Slogging on POTS in the Rain

My parents live way out in the boonies of western North Carolina. The same "good ol' boy" owns the small local telephone and cable companies - he has a monopoly on non-snail-mail communications in this neck o' the woods. My cell phone doesn't work at all unless I stand in the middle of the street and even then it only gets one or two bars. The only connection my parents can get to the internet is POTS, Plain Old Telephone Service.

AAUUGGGGGGG!!!

Now that that's out of the way...

The vacation is going well, I made all my flights, though I did have to do an 11 minute connection in Newark from one terminal to another when the first plane came in late. Made it as they were closing the door on the second plane. Then, of course, we sat on the tarmac for 40 minutes. That's air travel.

My parents are looking good and it's wonderful to see them after so long. (Even if they do have slower than slugs computers and slower than a glacier internet connection.) I love this area and would truly like to move back here some day if only I could convince the Engineer.

The rain has been following me around. It rained in DC for the first time in 34 days when I was there visiting GuiGrl and meeting Cicada. It rained in Charlotte for the first time in ages when I got there and it rained all the way on the drive out here to the western edge of the state. North Carolina has been in the worst drought in living memory, but I brought the rain.

For some reason, however, this rain magic does not seem to work when I'm on my home turf - or, in the case of Utah, my home desert.

Ah well, I'm happy with bringing rain and friendship to the people I visit.

In Our Nation's Capital

It's good to see old friends. GuiGrl and I hung out yesterday and talked up a storm. Guess that's what happens when you haven't seen each other for a couple of years. Today we're going to meet Bioephemera's Cicada for lunch then head to the national zoo. GG's got a thing for pandas. Tomorrow the plan is to go to the Maryland Renaissance Festival. GG's husband, the MarvelousMike, will join us on that expedition. He and GG make an interesting couple; he's 6'5" and she's 5'2". I'm 5'2" also, so he'll be bracketed by short women tomorrow.

Coming east reenforces how much I miss the lush greenery of this side of the country. There are green areas in Utah, but they aren't the same -- the feeling is different. I can hardly wait to get to the Blue Ridge Mountains. To see the living green mountains rising up all around me, to feel the soft, moist air and hear the gurgle and splash of water, is to be home.

Goodbye Cold World

It was cold and wet, a combination of rain and sleet, not pleasant weather for picking the last of the tomatoes. I picked until my fingers wouldn't bend any more. Got a bunch of 'em.We had a week of unseasonably warm weather between the snowstorms, and it fooled the plants into thinking they should grow and set fruit again. I have many itty bitty eggplants and Armenian cucumbers. The cukes set on in the cooler weather but don't enlarge. Patty pan squash bloom, but don't seem to get pollinated, so the female blossoms turn brown at the end before they can even start growing.

The Engineer has gone on a pickling craze. He likes the Runge pickles so much that he wants me to try pickling everything, especially all of those green cherry tomatoes.

I did the last few Armenian cucumbers last night, so I guess if any of the little tomatoes are still firm when I get home from my trip, I'll give them a try.

But tomorrow I fly south-east, (Warm!) Until the first of November, this blog will lie quiescent.

Bye for now. See you in a couple of weeks.

How Dumb Do They Think I Am?

What really ticks me off about these things is that there are some folks who are nieve enough to respond to them, so these creeps actually manage to make money off of innocents.

From: "FONDATION DE FRANCE"
To: Undisclosed-recipients:;
Date: Mon, 15 Oct 2007 23:10:14 +0100
Subject: FDF(GRANT)

FONDATION DE FRANCE,
P O Box 1010,
Ipswich, I70 1NL
United Kingdom.
http://www.fdf.org

Dear Beneficiary,
The Fondation De France (FDF) would like to notify you that you have been chosen by the board of trustees as one of the final recipients of a cash Grant/Donation for your own personal, educational, and business development.

The FDF, established 1969 by the Multi-Million group and now supported by the Economic Community for West African States (ECOWAS), United Nations Organization (UNO) and the European Union (EU) was conceived with the objective of human growth, educational, and community development. In conjunction with the ECOWAS, UNO and the EU, We are giving out a yearly donation of GBP?500,000.00 (five hundred thousand great british pounds sterling only) each to 5 lucky recipients selected globally.

These specific Donations/Grants will be awarded to only five(5) lucky international recipients worldwide, in different categories. Based on the random selection exercise of internet websites and millions of supermarket cash invoices worldwide, you were selected amongst the lucky recipients to receive the award sum of GBP?500,000.00 as Grant/Donation.

HOW TO CLAIM GRANT:
===================
You are required to email your full Names, and contact information directly to the regional secretary, Fondation De France Host Headquarters in Europe.

Request your grant application claims form F5.CONTACT THE SECRETARY FOR MORE INFORMATIONS ON YOUR CLAIMS, Please endeavour to send a copy of this notification to the regional secretary and also quote your qualification number (FDF-021-6647-9163) in all discussions.

CONTACT INFORMATION:
===================
Dr. Steven Alkin
(Regional Secretary)
FDF Host Headquarters,
Birmingham,United Kingdom.
Email: drstevealkin@yahoo.co.uk
Tel: (+44)-704-572-2125
Fax: (+44)-709-289-4930
Website: http://www.fdf.org
Office Hours
Monday~Friday (7.30am~6.30pm)
Saturday (9.00am~2.00pm)

Please note that these donations/grants are strictly administered by the EU, ECOWAS, UNO. You are by all means hereby advised to keep this whole information confidential until you have been able to collect your donation.

On behalf of the board kindly accept our warmest congratulations.

Regards,

Mrs. Angie Randall
Fondation De France
(Grant/Donation Co-ordinator)

N.B:Any breach of confidentiality on the part of the beneficiary will result in disqualification.Please do not reply to this mailbox. Contact the regional secretary.

If it wasn't suspicious enough from the address to "Undisclosed-recipients", the text I highlighted in red should surely scare anyone with an ounce of savvy away...

http://www.usdoj.gov/criminal/fraud/internet/

Failed Ambitions

I recently stumbled across a couple of cutsie blogs I'm embarrassed to admit I like.
http://icanhascheezburger.com/ and http://lolsecretz.blogspot.com/

I sent in a lolcat to "I Can Has Cheezburger ."
They didn't publish it.

Pout.

Then I sent this to "lolsecretz. "
They didn't publish it.

Pout. Pout!

Fortunately I didn't tell Sachi, so she's not pouting too.

Where Have All the Earthworms Gone?

When I was a kid, I loved warm rainy days.

My sibs and I had bright yellow slickers and black rubber boots. We would march through the puddles -- Splash! Splash! Splash! Worms came out of their holes and crawled all over the grass and sidewalks,

We were great worm collectors. We filled the pockets of our slickers to overflowing with long, squirmy, slimy earthworms. If our hands got too gooey, we wiped them in the wet grass then caught more worms.

When our pockets were full we ran home to our back door and yelled for Mom. She would come to the door and admire our oozing wads of worms. She would tell us in a delighted voice how proud she was of us and how wonderful worms were for the garden. "Now go put them in the garden," she would say. We scampered back to the garden and scattered our worms thither and yon. We were firmly convinced that nothing would grow in the garden without our worms.

One magnificently rainy morning, when my brother was in the first grade, he collected both pockets full of fat, juicy earthworms on the way to school. As a third grader, I was more sophisticated and saved my worm collecting efforts for the way home since I knew worms would stiffen up and die if you left them in your pockets all day.

My brother dearly loved his teacher and, when he saw her standing in the hall next to the classroom door, he was inspired. He ran up to her with his freckled face aglow.

"Hold out your hands and close your eyes," he said, "I have a surprise for you!"

She smiled and did as he asked.

My brother dug deep into his two bulging pockets and dredged up the biggest handfuls of wriggling worms that a first grader could manage. He deposited this wonderful gift into his teacher's cupped hands.

It was not what she was expecting.

She flung up her hands and let out a shriek that shattered every eardrum in the school. Worms splattered against the walls, ceiling, floor and not a few students.

She was making frantic panting noises and shaking her hands when she looked down and saw my brother's face. He was devastated. His lower lip was trembling and tears spilled from his eyes.

"But Mommy likes worms," he sobbed.

She bent down and hugged him.

"So do I," she said, "I just need to know when I'm getting a handful.

"Thank you for the present."

All the kids in the hall got to spend the first few minutes of the school day picking worms off the walls and each other. We took them outside and put them into the shrubbery around the school "where they would do the most good."

Now-a-days when it rains, the worms don't come out like they did when I was a kid. Oh, sure, you see a few, but nothing like it used to be. There aren't as many butterflies either. Or frogs and toads.

I miss the creepy crawlies. I wish people would stop polluting the earth, air and water so the bugs, amphibians, snakes and all the little wildlife that so delighted me as a child could come back. We need them to keep our planet and our souls healthy.

P.S. One of the most fun parts about rainy worm days was chasing Cindy Kraschenko. She screamed and danced and dodged better than anyone when we threw worms at her. She deserved it too, she was a snotty, superior kid -- really.

Stupid Human

Sachi wonders why the heck I haven't gone to bed yet. Don't I know she's ready to snuggle up?