Stark Naked

Sometimes I wonder why we get upset about the things we get upset about. Particularly, I wonder why nakedness and sex are rated X. Seems to me that everyone is running around stark naked under their clothes 7/24. We all have the same basic parts with a few modifications for gender. True, the parts come in a variety of shapes, sizes and colors, but (to quote a very old commercial) "parts is parts."

And what's the hoo-hah about sex? Not a one of us would be here without it. Though I have to admit that I suspect I was probably an immaculate conception and I know my mother was. My grandparents doing the deed... I don't even remotely want to go there.

I do understand not wanting kids to indulge in sex promiscuously. Some of the diseases out there are darn scary and unwanted pregnancies can be tragic. So why not just tell them the truth, give them the facts. They're going to do it anyway, but at least they'll know what they're doing and how to stay safe.

Personally, I think it would be great if, upon hitting puberty, everyone had little plugs put into their tubes to keep the gametes contained. Then, when they truly wanted to reproduce, they could get the plugs removed. Note the "they", both partners would have to want a baby in order to make one.

Ah well, I'm a dreamer. I've got bigger dreams too, but we won't go into them here.

Sex has become quite a commodity here in the USA. Don't know if it showed in your neighborhood, but I actually saw the infamous Paris Hilton Carl's Jr. commercial on broadcast TV before it got pulled. Didn't make me want to eat a BBQ burger in the least bit. To be perfectly honest, it did make me laugh my butt off.



Sex is so intrinsically funny. There ain't no dignity to it. If done properly both participants (I'm not traveling into the wilder realms here) get all hot and sweaty and make mindless noises. Almost everybody wants to do it -- we're hardwired to want to do it. So many folks seem to go at it like it was some sort of a contest.



Of course, hypocrite that I am, I wouldn't want to go running around without my clothes on. They keep me warm in the winter, prevent sunburn in the summer, and cover the parts that ain't so pretty.

Most of us, especially those of us out of our 20's, aren't smooth and sleek and flawless anymore.

Even kitties are less lovely nekkid.

The Unmentionables

Sex, religion, politics and money: these are the things that a Proper Southern Lady cannot talk about in public. Thank God I'm not a Proper Southern Lady.

Some of these topics were more unmentionable than others in my childhood home. Sex was never discussed, nor was money, both topics were totally taboo. To this day, I have no idea how much money either of my parents made and firmly believe that my siblings and I were immaculate conceptions.

Religion and politics were simple subjects with the basics assumed. When I was a child, there were three major religions: Protestant, my family's religion; Jewish, lots of smart people were Jewish; Catholic, they had too many babies. There were three immutable premisses about politics: Republicans were good, Democrats were bad; evil Communists were trying to take over the world.

I'm sure that my parents are quite baffled by the way their eldest daughter turned out. I'm a flaming, bleeding heart, tree hugging, whale kissing (right on their blubbery lips), but fiscally conservative, liberal agnostic who thinks sex is one of the most hilarious things going. For some reason the strictures on discussing money did take. I'm not comfortable discussing personal finances to this day, it's none of anybody's business but the individual's. Public money is fair game, however, and dang the way those idiots in Washington spend my tax dollars!

It's time to step out of the comfort zone and blog on these forbidden subjects. I just need to figure out what order to take them in...

1. Money -- the one I'm least comfortable with.
2. Politics -- the most annoying one.
3. Religion -- the scariest, most confusing one.
4. Sex -- the fun one!

Blog you later, alligator.