Remember the old "well, duh" saying, "Does a bear shit in the woods?" To that I'm afraid I must add, "Does a guy wizz in the woods?"
What is it about males? Where does their pride in grossness come from? Is it inborn or is it carefully nurtured in each succeeding generation by their fathers, uncles and big brothers?
I am just home from five days in a cabin in the woods with the Engineer and the Twin. Each and every day after returning from fishing they described in excruciating detail how they caught each fish. No description was complete without a full inventory of what they'd done with their bandanas. I won't get too detailed here, but suffice it to say boogers, worm guts, fish guts and the wiping of sweating brows feature prominently. (No wonder they come home smelling like they do!) Then they threaten to use their bandanas as hot pads for moving cooking pans.
The bathing facility at the cabin is either an antique claw foot tub in the cabin, the creek or an outdoor shower. The shower is a blue plastic barrel on the hillside above a plywood shower stall. It is filled by a hose from the cabin first thing in the morning. The water warms in the barrel during the day, then flows downhill through a black plastic pipe for additional solar heating before coming out of two sprinkler heads affixed to a board tacked between two of the dead trees the shower walls are nailed to. Most years the shower floor has been trampled grass and mud. The guys love to describe the goo squishing up between their toes and scraping their feet off to reinsert them into their shoes. This year I brought along a plastic floor mat to keep their feet relatively mud free so that I wouldn't have to sleep with old crusty toes.
The cabin does have a quite decent bathroom, complete with water heater, tub, sink and toilet. The toilet actually flushes, though the tank needs to be filled with a bucket filled at the bath tub spout.
Do the males use the toilet?
Only if they can brag about how aromatic they've left it when they're through.
Otherwise, they "go for a walk." Doesn't matter what time it is, first thing in the morning, midday or if they wake up in the middle of the night, if they've got to pee, they head for their favorite tree. One claim which caused great hilarity was that one of the brothers, when waking in the night, didn't bother with the tree, he just peed off the back deck. Is it true? I'd rather not know.
Do boys of any age love to gross out the girls?
Does a guy wizz in the woods?