Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Kid Humor

When I was a kid, gross humor was the absolute funniest. It made us feel b-b-b-baaaad to the bone. We were so sly and tricky, never figured the Parents knew we were singing "Tra la la POOP dee ay!" instead of "Tra la la boop dee ay!" We called each other "1-19-19" and cussed with gusto using "H-E-double hockey sticks!" And the mention of Lake Titicaca could make us laugh until we shot milk out of our noses.

We sang too.

Great big gobs of greasy grimy gopher guts,
Mutilated monkey meat,
Percolated birdie feet,
French fried eyeballs swimming in a pool of blood,
And me without my fork.

But I got my spoooon!

Of course we told jokes:

"No matter what I say, you have to say, "Pea Green Soup," okay?
"What did you have for breakfast?"
"Pea Green Soup."
"What did you have for lunch?"
"Pea Green Soup."
"What did you have for dinner?"
"Pea Green Soup."
"What did you do in bed all night?"
"Pea Green Soup."


We loved to play the blanket game on innocents. You'd put the kid under a blanket and tell him to "Give me what you need the least." Very few kids figured out that what they needed the least was the darn blanket before we got them pretty close to nekkid. (We were wicked, not evil, we never made anybody get down past their undies.)

When we did it to Nanny, she must have had about a hundred rubber bands in her pocket. Geeze o' pete! The joke was on us that time.

Now I'm officially a growed up (I could show you my driver's licence) and married to the Engineer. He is, to put it kindly, just a wee bit anal about most everything. Sunday, with much fuss and fanfare, he finally took the winter cover off the swimming pool. You must understand that the Engineer's PhD is in Chemical Engineering. Keeping the swimming pool water at absolute perfection is not optional, it's required. The Twin is a Chem E PhD as well. His pool is also always sparkling. They tease their older brother unmercifully because he has to hire a pool service to balance his pool every spring.

This year the Engineer's pool was unveiled very late and, under the cover, the pool water was green.

Opaque green!

If I still drank milk, I would surely shoot it out my nose!

Pea Green Pool!

I called OlderBrother and told him right away.

(Yes, I think my sense of humor is still mired in the second grade.)

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