My Kingdom For a Pocket

What's the deal with the folks who design women's clothing? What do they have against pockets? You never see a pair of men's pants that lacks pockets. Even the majority of their shirts have pockets.

I want pockets too.

When you can't have what you want, however, you have to make due with what you do have. I tend to make due with my bra. I kinda realized that when I wanted to go downstairs with an apple last night and my hands were already full. Didn't even think about it; just stuffed it into the left side of my bra. (It's not as if there's a whole lot of competition for the space, I've never been what anyone would call voluptuous.)

Made a heck of a lump. Looked like my left breast was undergoing binary fission. Who says asexual reproduction can't be entertaining?

I carry my cell phone there frequently, tucking it right under where the strap and the cup join. Gives me a cheap thrill when my phone rings because I keep it in buzz mode.

Now that it's summer though, I've got to stop doing it -- when I'm out in public anyway. Under a light weight shirt, it makes a noticeable oblong bump on my chest.

It all started back in college, and I wasn't the one who initiated it...

Matilda was the loveliest pet rat ever. We lived in the dorm and she went every where with me. Her favorite place to ride was in that little gap in the front of the bra between the boobs. Did I ever get some weird looks when someone noticed I had an extra boob. And double takes when that extra boob moved. Sat a couple of guys down on their butts when she stuck her head out to see where we were going.

I miss Matilda; she was a good rat. Even though I wish for pockets, I'd never have made her ride in one. She deserved shotgun.