Bacon and Wonder Bread

My Mom was never much of a cook, so I grew up on Velveeta and frozen vegetables. We always had good bakery bread, though. Wonder Bread was not on the menu.

Even as a child, if I had a slice of Wonder Bread I thought the only reasonable thing to do with it was pull the crust off, roll the middle into hard little balls and flick the balls at the other kids. Even better to put a little spit on them right before you flicked so they'd stick.

I was also known to call it "marshmallow bread" and say the "Wonder" was on the name because you wondered if it was really bread.

Yes, I'm a bread snob. I usually won't eat grocery store bread unless it's Le Brea, which is one of the best breads ever. Its only real competition is homemade bread or Spatz bread. I would commit minor crimes for a loaf of Spatz bread, but, unfortunately, you can only get it right around Saginaw, Michigan.

The best breakfast in the history of the universe (and I am not indulging in hyperbole) is a bacon sandwich. Not a BLT, nothing so fancy as that. You simply toast two pieces of bread, butter them and fill 'em up with bacon. It is heaven.

It cannot be just any bread, though. Wonder bread would be sacrilege. It has to be a bread with character. Spatz is best, but homemade or Le Brea will also work. My mouth is watering just thinking about it.

My Mom might not have been a cook, but she did teach all her kids about the best breakfast ever.