Monday, January 28, 2008

But My Pants Stayed Dry

Last night the wind came in and rattled the house. For several hours it rained, pitting and melting last week's big snow. It was 37° at 11:00 am. Then the wind went dead and pellets of snow started to fall straight down like little white balls of lead. I could hear them whacking on the roof. The wind whipped up again and the snow danced like a mad dervish. It completely covered the wet ground within a couple of minutes.

I had a noon hair cut appointment. As I was leaving at 11:45 the temperature had fallen to 21° and there was about two inches of snow on the ground. I pulled out of the dread car-eating driveway and headed down the hill.

Two-thirds of the way to my destination, I took a corner at a crawl. My tires decided not to grip and the car went into free fall.

I chanted my mantra, "Expletive Deleted! Oh Evil Language! Oh Holy Expletive Deleted!" as I tried to get my car sideways enough to the curb to bounce off of it instead of over and down the embankment into the yard of the trampoline house.

Whump-bump. I was up over the curb. My mind's eye and viscera saw my car tumbling down the embankment, landing on its crushed top by the trampoline frame.

The car slid across the sidewalk and a tire caught on something at the edge of the lawn that gave enough purchase to send the car back towards the street.

Adrenaline continued to pump through my blood like a flash flood, but my pants stayed dry.

Deciding my haircut could wait for another day, I took the shortest route home.

I am not going out again today. And maybe not tomorrow.