Monday, February 25, 2008

The Crock Pot Prophylactic

I use my crock pot a lot. It's a great way to have a meal ready at the end of a day without having to fuss. The one thing I didn't like about it was the clean-up. Geeze o' pete, that was a pain in the derriere. My crock pot is a Salvation Army crock pot; a battered old timer that came without a lid. But I measured the top diameter of the crock and found a glass lid that (kinda) fits.

A couple of years ago I discovered crock pot prophylactics and now I'm a happy homemaker. (Ain't that phrase enough to make a feminist retch?)

Tonight's dinner is a cheap pork roast that will be transformed by the crock pot into ambrosia.

1. Insert prophylactic.

2. Season meat.

3. Stuff meat into crock pot.

4. Pour in your chosen liquid to just cover the meat. I like to use the Engineer's leftover coffee, my theory is that the acids in the coffee help tenderize the meat. Believe it or not, it does not smell or taste like coffee. I don't do this if we are having Mormons for dinner company, wouldn't want to violate their prohibition on "hot drinks", but otherwise, for pork or beef, coffee is my liquid of choice. If there's not enough coffee, I will use water or canned broth to top if off.

5. Stick in a bay leaf or two -- for the aroma if nothing else.

6. Pop the lid on and cook at the appropriate setting for at least six or seven hours. I always turn the overhang on the prophylactic up like an Elizabethan collar because the replacement lid doesn't quite fit. Turning it up funnels any condensate back into the crock pot instead of letting it drip on the counter.

7. Unplug crock pot and use one of those kitchen tools that looks like a kitty litter scoop and a pair of tongs to retrieve the meat. You'll need both because it should be falling apart tender.

8. If you want to, scoop out a little of the liquid to make gravy. My fluffy parts don't need the extra calories, so I don't. (I deserve kudos for this because I love gravy.)

9. Serve and enjoy.

10. After crock pot has cooled enough that you won't be burned, move it right next to the sink, carefully lift the prophylactic from the crock and drain it into the disposer. Throw the prophylactic away and rinse out the crock.

Dinner's over, the Engineer's full and happy. He does love pork, potatoes and cabbage.

Best part, NO soaking or scrubbing the pot. Yay, hurray!


Anonymous said...

You are now officially my hero. I use the crock pot often and hate the clean up too. Where do you buy these so called "prophylactics"? KC
PS Got to tell you I love your sense of humor and the way you see things. You and Kate make me laugh!!!

Anonymous said...

Regarding the Happy Homemaker vs. feminist thing. A woman should be free to be all she wants to be. Cooking happens to be a fun and interesting activity for a lot of people. Some people view a woman who is stationed at home and cooks as downtrodden. However, if the woman is smart, she's got it all worked out to her advantage. She has the freedom to fill her time with the things that interest her. (Okay, you still have to clean the toilet, run a vacuum through once in a while, etc. etc. but that's part of the payment we make for taking up space on the planet.)

Wunx~ said...

True anonymous. And, if a woman is smart enough, she can get a cleaning service to take care of that pesky dusting and vacuuming too.

And for anyone who's interested, here's a commercial:
Reynold's Slow Cooker Liners