Saturday, January 13, 2007


"From ghoulies and ghosties
And long leggety beasties
And things that go bump in the night,
Good Lord, deliver us!"
- Scottish saying

I think monsters are cool. Not real monsters like people who do horrible things to children, but imaginary monsters like Chupacabras and Nessie. I don't like them so much that I buy The National Enquirer or The Star, though those tabloids can be fun to read while you wait in line at the grocery store. I have taken out more than one book on monsters from the library and read about them on-line sometimes.

I dream about them too. A couple of those dreams were so scary that they will stay with me for all of my life, some of them have been simply totally bizarre.

When I was a kid, I kinda believed in the UnderBedMonster and in the magical power of covers to keep myself safe. My UnderBedMonster wasn't a traditional big, hairy, clawed, smelly creature, it was a hive sort of a creature whose components swam around under the bed like air fish, looking for anything that might dangle over the edge. I knew they weren't really there -- I know they aren't really there -- but, to this day, I am not comfortable if any part of me hangs over the edge of my bed. Occasionally I will test myself and let one of my hands dangle over the edge, but I can only do it for so long before my fingers start to twitch with apprehension, awaiting the bite of savage fangs.

What I would really like would be a MoatMonster.

The Salt Lake Public Library had one in its reflecting pond a couple of summers ago during the annual art festival.

Here's his picture.
Isn't he gorgeous?

I want him for my very own!

A monster lived under the bed
It filled the poor children with dread
It liked to bite toes
Would nip finger or nose
And would happily snap off your head.

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